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How to be Less Critical of Yourself and Others
We all have our own set of values, and more times than not? They might be radically different from our own.
While having values is very positive and can help you make difficult decisions, there’s also a risk if you expect others to behave under your frame set of how the world should work.
There’s no single way to live life or view the world. Period.
If you expect others to live according to your rules, you’re limiting your personal growth and enjoyment. And may even potentially push other people away who might have otherwise brought more into your life.
Being critical of others has additional consequences:
- Hard on others? Then you will naturally also be hard on yourself.
- Your self-esteem and happiness suffer.
When we accept others and ourselves, life is simply more enjoyable. Use these strategies to remove your expectations and be less critical:
1. Be aware of critical thoughts.
Everything has a beginning.And before you begin to form critical judgments or say critical things, there will always be a critical thought.
This is your cue to change your thought process.
Remind yourself to be more open-minded whenever you begin to feel you're making that judgement.
Monitor your thoughts to live a happier and more prosperous life.
2. Pause for five seconds and take a deep breath.
This simply tip has been really helpful for me. Especially when I'm in a “heated discussion” and my emotions are high.
Now generally you’re safe until you open your mouth. But when you start to find yourself feeling judgmental or anxious, stop and take a short pause.
Interrupt your thought pattern! Give yourself a chance to think before you say something you might regret.
How many times have you wished you could take back something you’ve said?
That doesn’t have to happen again in the future.
3. Understand that people, including yourself, are doing the best they can.
Now, that doesn't mean that everyone is living up to their potential.
What it does mean is that everyone has their own unique set of currently developed skills, health issues, past experiences & tragedies, upbringing, and even their own way of viewing the world.
Faced with the same experiences, you can’t be certain you would do any better.
The person you’re judging might be doing a lot better than you think if only you knew the entire story.
4. Avoid stereotyping.
“Women can't be successful.”
“Anyone with a tattoo is a miscreant.”
“Potheads are lazy.”
Have you ever had any of these thoughts?
Perhaps someone has said something like this to you?
When you stereotype someone, you’re only fooling yourself by throwing all people of the same race or background as being the same.
Are you strong and patient enough to determine the truth about the other person?
5. Find a role model.
All of my success mentors have said “find someone who has what you want and do what they do” — this is no different.
Know someone that’s very accepting of everyone? Sit down and speak with them.
Ask them how they manage to be so non-critical of everyone.
Ask them what they think when they see a Goth teenager covered in tattoos and piercings.
Their thoughts are the answer to your struggle.
6. The past doesn’t have to equal the future.
We've all made (and will make) mistakes. But the thing about mistakes is that they don’t have to be repeated – as long as you learn from them.
Understand that other people can learn from their errors. Remind yourself that you wouldn’t want to be judged by your greatest mistake, nor would it provide an accurate view of you.
Give others the same consideration.
7. Respect the freedom of others.
You are not dictator over anyone. You were not voted to take over and make decisions for someone else.
It’s arrogant and delusional to believe that your way is the right way for everyone.
You have the option to live your life the way you choose. Provide the same freedom to others.
I am a firm believer in the Constitution of the United States – unedited. I may not believe in or agree with what you are doing or saying, but I will defend your right to live free.
8. Let go of your expectations.
Become more flexible – do not expect anyone to act in the way you see how things “should” work.
Having expectations that people should act a certain way is a form of trying to control others.
Think of it this way – when you have expectations, they’re sure to be violated. Especially if the person you have expectations for does not share your same values.
There’s only one way you can feel at that point: upset. Let go of your expectations and accept the outcome without judgment.
If you have a habit of being critical, you’ll get more out of life if you reverse this tendency.
This is a great opportunity for you to stretch yourself – to be patient and understanding towards both yourself and others.
The people that annoy us are here to teach us about ourselves.
Make an effort to learn more about someone you don’t like. You might find that your first impression was incorrect!
If you would like more information like the above, then click here!
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